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Feb 27, 2021
Franklin County (MA) News Archive
The Franklin County Publication Archive Index

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Article Archives: Articles: Jokes

Showing 25

Posted by stew - Wed, Feb 24, 2010

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 20, 1875
Why she didn’t catch it



Why she didn’t catch it - One of our prominent merchants was informed a day or two since , when he went home to tea, that there was a mouse in the sitting room; it had run in there during the afternoon, and they had shut the door to keep it in until someone came to catch it. "Well, why didn’t YOU catch it?" said the gentleman to his wife as he started for the sitting room, banging the door pretty sharply behind him.

The ladies - there were 2 or 3 callers present - waited in breathless silence and were soon startled by a yell that sent the lady of the house into a swoon and one of the callers to the rescue.



Opening the door, there was the gentleman with his pants half off, both hands grasping the antipodes of the small of his back,and he executing a Modoc war dance in the middle of the room.

The lady said "What is it?" The gentleman said "You clear out and call my wife". Soon as cold water and camphor had revived her, the lady of the house went in and quiet soon was restored. Inquiry elicited the fact that when the gentleman went in and discovered the mouse he went for it at once, and the mouse went up the leg of his pantaloons and got in such a position that he could not be shook out, and fearing that he would bite as well as scratch, he seized him with both hands, and then found it impossible to get his pants off alone.When the mouse was finally removed his wife quietly remarked "You see now why I didn’t catch it". The gentleman said he did. (Faribault Democrat) [Minnesota].


 

Subjects: Animals / Reptiles, Beverages, Businesspeople, Dance, Households, Jokes, Literature / Web Pages, Marriage and Elopement, Masculinity (Machismo), Medicine / Hospitals, Native Americans, Noise, Vendors and Purchasers, Women, Clothing, Water

Posted by stew - Sun, Jan 24, 2010

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 20, 1875
Conway

Conway - We saw an item 2 or 3 weeks since in the "Courier" speaking of a sudden death while swearing, reported by another paper as occurring at Burkeville, etc., contradicted by a correspondent, the item belonging to Burkville, Kentucky, not Conway, Mass. Perhaps there are but few living in our town who know that such an incident really did occur in our midst many years ago, living witnesses attesting the truth at the present time, called to remembrance by the item mentioned.

The facts were these, as nearly as I could gather them: a colored man by the name of James Hall, living or standing near the house now occupied by Russell Bond, was swearing fearfully, blaspheming the name of God because there had been a religious interest in the place and his wife was converted.

Wishing to join the church, she applied for baptism - we think for the Baptist Church here - and was accepted. Her husband’s anger was roused, and while terrible oaths were on his lips, swearing that the rite should not be administered to her, he fell forward dead!

"God fearing" may be our community, as a class both then and now, but is it not rather the mercy of Heaven that spares the swearer from alike state? It is not OUR goodness which keeps men alive, not even in Christian Conway!

[There actually is a Burkesville, Kentucky - see Wikipedia].


 

Subjects: African-Americans / Blacks, Conway (MA), Households, Jokes, Literature / Web Pages, Names, Obituaries, Religion, Women, Words, Superstition

Posted by stew - Sun, Feb 22, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 13, 1875
Catamount Hill Reunion



Catamount Hill Reunion - The sun never shone upon a jollier band than was gathered on Catamount HiIl at the Reunion on Sept. 1. The day was all that could be expected, and everyone seemed to partake of its joyousness. The company from Adams, together with a delegation from the west, preluded the occasion by riding though the Hoosac Tunnel and viewing the wonderful work thereof.

Then on up the mountain they went, stopping ever and anon to hear an old time story, from Paul, Henry, or Chauncey, and maybe from the Dr., to say nothing of the Professor from the Hub. At the old school house they halted, and the story of whipping out the muster was triumphantly related.

When they reached the picnic ground, such a hurra of welcome as came from the Catamount Hill boys, one could hardly imagine, but it made the old hills ring, and the rocks their silence seemed to break, for "Uncle Bill’s" enthusiasm was fearfully contagious.

But to the programme first, reading of the 90th psalm from Mr. Benjamin Farley’s old family Bible; then prayer from one of the old time residents, after which "Coronation" was sung and the chronological history read by Dr. A.. Davenport (a copy of which appears in this paper).

Family histories were also read by Miss Emma Farley and Miss Nellie Ives beautifully worded and well worthy of print would space be allotted. "The Old Oaken Bucket" with appropriate remarks by Mr. David Cary were listened to with interest.

http://www.scituateh...tes_oakenbucket.html

Then too, the picnic part of the programme must not escape mention, which was basket in every sense of the word - a group here, another here, and so all around the rocks and ledges were seated, the happy families partaking of the good things brought to sustain the inner man.

And last, but not least, the miscellaneous, of which there is not room to speak in detail; reminiscences of bygone years.

"And jokes that cracked a bit (etc.)
One did, perchance,call forth the tears
The other shouts and cheers (etc.)"

Then there were notes from C.J. Davenport and Levi Davenport; poems from "Q in the Corner"; and "Mrs. M.D."; speeches from many, etc. too numerous to mention. In short, many appropriate and spicy things were said; one was "Once I was young, but now I am old; never have I seen a Catamounter forsaken or his seed begging bread". [Kind of ironic considering the murder that would take place there a week later]. Estimated number present, 700.
 

Subjects: Amusements, Animals / Reptiles, Astronomy, Boston (MA), Charity, Coleraine [now Colrain] (MA), Education, Emigration and Immigration, Family, Food, History, Hoosac Tunnel (MA), Jokes, Literature / Web Pages, Medical Personnel, Murder, Music, Noise, Old Age, Parties, Religion, Trains, Women, Words, Berkshire County (MA)

Posted by stew - Sat, Feb 14, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 13, 1875
News about home: Greenfield items



Greenfield - D.L. Moody, the evangelist, was in town last Tues., and won the everlasting esteem of one of our grocers by purchasing 4 pounds of coffee. By the way, they tell the following little incident which occurred the other day when Mr. Moody and his wife went to Brattleboro shopping. Not being particularly interested in the purchases she was to make, he took a walk along the street, and when passing the store where his wife was engaged, one clerk called to another to come to the door and see the famous preacher.

The knight of the yardstick waiting upon Mrs. Moody said "There goes Moody, the revivalist, would you not like to see him? There are a plenty of better looking men than he is, ain't there?" The lady relished the joke, and of course had a good laugh over it with her husband.

[See Wikipedia.]
 

Subjects: Beverages, Jokes, Northfield (MA), Religion, Roads, Sports, Stores, Retail, Vendors and Purchasers, Vermont, Women

Posted by stew - Thu, Feb 12, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 13, 1875
The Catamount Hill Coleraine Reunion

The Catamount HIll Coleraine Reunion - The reunion of the present and former members of Catamount Hill, Coleraine occurred on Wed. Sept. 1. There was quite a large gathering of people, and the exercises which were as follows, were interesting and endorsed by those present: Reading of Scriptures by Andrus Shippee [also seen as Andros Shippee], President of the day, from Benjamin Farley’s old family Bible; Prayer by Daniel Davenport, an old resident of the hill; Hymn, Coronation Chronological History, by Dr. A.F. Davenport; Hymn, arranged for the occasion:

"This mountain, ’tis of thee
Land of sweet memory
Of thee we sing
Land where our fathers died
Land of their early pride
Aye from this mountain side
Let music ring.

Our native Mountain, thee
Land of the parent tree
Thy name we love.
We love the rocks and rills
Thy woods and towering hills
Our heart within us thrills
Like that above.

Welcome from Western lands
Thrice welcome in our hands
Ye friends of yore.
From distant home released
To mingle in glad feast
With kindred from the east
As wont before.

Let music swell the breeze
And ring from all the trees
Sweet memory’s song
Let every tongue awake
Let all that breathe partake
Let rocks their silence break
the sound prolong.

Our fathers, God, to thee
The highest praises be
To thee we song
Long may our lives be bright
Protect us by Thy might
Great God our King.

Family History, by Miss Emma Farley; Song, by Miss Gertrude Baker; Old Oaken Bucket, by David Cary; Sixty Years Ago, by Miss Nellie Ives; Dinner; After dinner there were speeches from a number of those present. The following is Dr. Davenport’s http://archiver.root...Y/2001-06/0991943526 address:

Chapter 1

And it came to pass in the reign of George and Martha, that certain tribes of the people who dwelt in many parts of the land, bethought themselves that they would leave their birth right to their brethren, and depart from the land of their fathers and go into a far off country, and make by the sweat of the brow a more noble inheritance, both to themselves and to their children.

And there was in these days a mighty wilderness, and no man kneweth the end thereof. Neither did any man dwell therein, save a few of the wandering tribes of the Gentiles called the "red man". And these did neither plant nor gather into barns; only slay a few wild beasts with the bow and arrow, for they were archers.



And now in the midst of the wilderness arose up even into the heavens an exceedingly high mountain, which was fair to look upon from the plains below, for it was covered with mighty trees even into the brow thereof. And then did roam upon this mountain many wild beasts, but the one that did most abound was one which was very fleet of foot, and did prey upon the lesser beasts of the forest, and upon the flocks of those who journeyed hither, and was called the catamount, and the region did very much abound in rocks which were the fastnesses of these beasts, and there was a cave which did reach even to the bowels of the earth in which these beasts did make their dens, and so much had they increased and multiplied that they were a terror to the coming tribes of the mountains, wherefore that place is called Catamount HIll to this day.

Chapter 2

Now the names of some of the tribes who first journeyed hither were these: Aaron, whose surname was Cary, Israel and Peter, and Amasa of the tribe of Shippee. Alden, who was also named Willis. Elihu of the tribe of Holden, and Paul, who was also called Davenport. And these said among themselves, come, let us get up and make some war upon the forests, and drive out the wild beasts, and make unto ourselves habitations.

And all the elders of the tribes said they would do so, for the thing was right in the eyes of all the people. And Aaron said unto Jemima, his wife, come, let us gather ourselves together, even from the middle of the Borough, and let us with our children travel westward, and they came and took up their abode upon the east side of the mountain.

And behold Hezekiah, whose surname was Smith, dwelt also on the east side of the mountain, even unto the entering in of the wilderness from the river. And their flocks were multiplied, for they dwelt among plants and hedges. And Peter went up and Amasa and all lsrael unto this mountain, and the tribe of Farly.

And Anan, also called Bass, went with Joseph, whose surname was Farnsworth, and they dwelt near together in the hollow according to their generations. And in those days came Paul and Alice, his wife, and they made war upon the wild beasts of the forests, and they pitched their tent and dwelt at the border thereof, where they cleared the land and had green pastures, and their flocks and herds were multiplied and they also begat children, whose names were Zacheus, Thomas and Paul, Daniel and Levi; and they also had daughters given unto them: Lydia, Sally and Alice.

And now Alice lay sick of a fever, and great fear came upon the whole household for she was nigh unto death. And Paul saddled his beast and did go for one Nathaniel, who dwelt in the valley by the river, and whose appellation was "Dr. Nat". And he came with saddlebags and he gave unto her pills of buckthorn and aloes,and the drink of herbs, queen of the meadow, motherwort and sarsaparilla, and after many days she recovered, and great rejoicing came upon all the household.

And behold Nathaniel found that she was fair to look upon, and he said, come in unto me and let us dwell together. And Alice said, I will go; and they went to dwell at the head of the meadow, in a house builded by one Artemas and Ruth. And now it came to pass after this, Joel, one of the Chiefs, and Zenas, the son of Cary, sent messengers to Nathaniel, and timbers of cedar, with masons and carpenters to build him a barn. And they builded it 40 cubits long; the stable thereof was 10 cubits, and a threshing floor 10 cubits and 20 cubits for a bay.

Chapter 3

Now it came to pass in those days, as Aaron sat in his house, that Aaron said to Jemima, his wife: "Behold, our meal getteth low, and our children hunger for bread, give unto me! I pray thee a bag that I may fill it with corn and go to the grinders". And Jemima said, go do all that is in thy heart. And Aaron arose and went. And it came to pass as he was journeying homeward from the mill, the even was come and darkness fell upon the whole land, and a great fog encompassed him about, and his way was lost. And Aaron lifted up his voice and cried aloud "Jemima! Jemima!! JEMIMA!!!"

Now Jemimah heard the cry of Aaron and answered, In here am I. But he heard her not, for her voice was weak. So she straightway took a stick and beat vehemently upon the side of the house, and Aaron hearing the sound thereof hastened homeward. Now the sons of Aaron were Zenas and Levi, but Levi died before his father and had no children. And the children of Zenas and Sally, his wife, who were of the tribe of Maxam, were these: Charlotte and Mariettie, John and George, William, David and Levi, 7 in all.

But the days of Mariettie on the earth were as a shadow, and she was not, for God took her; and Charlotte had wisdom and knowledge granted unto her, and she came in and went out before the children and taught them. And the sons of Zenas were skillful to work in stone and in timber and in tilling the land.

And behold, William was wiser than the others about bees, and the queens of Italia, and did make unto himself a great name. And David, like one of old, was a mighty man and a slayer of beasts and of cattle, and behold, the flesh thereof he did keep in markets, and with it he did feed the tribes of Aaron.

And now after many days it came to pass that Aaron and Jemima, being full of years, died. And Zenas and Sally reigned in their stead.

Chapter 4

Now Amasa, Israel and Peter were the three divisions of our tribe, who came to dwell in the hill country and they went even unto the top of the mountain and sought pastures for their flocks. Even over against the habitations of the wild beasts. And behold the house of Amasa increased greatly, and Andrus, Nancy, Jesse, Alvira and Jerusha, Henry, Chauncey, Nathan, Thankful and Kate, all these mentioned by their names, were the children of Amasa and Rhoda.

And after these days Rhoda saith unto Amasa, behold how our house has been multiplied, let us enlarge our borders, I pray thee, that there may be room in our house to dwell there. And this saying pleased Amasa and he straightway brought his cattle and his oxen, and gathered stones and timber and did build him an house, such as one as had not been there before him. He also made shingles of cedar and spruce and covered his house therewith.

Now Amasa was a man of great stature, even 5 cubits high. And Rhoda wrought fine linen and kersey, and with it did make clothes for her family and for Andrus, her first born. For behold, Rhoda was an helpmeet unto Amasa.

Now the children of Israel were Ira, Zovia, Azuba, Anan, Amasa, Catherine, Abraham, Israel, Martha and one younger called Darling. Now the children of Ira, the first born, were these: Delana, Dordana and Diana, and a son, a shepherd, who died in his youth. And Ira spake unto Dilla, his wife, to appoint their daughters to be the singers. So the daughters were appointed, and with their neighbors did often make merry with corn huskings and apple pearings [probably meant parings] with playing and dancing, making great noise with viols and with harps.

And it came to pass in these days that George took wives from the daughters of Ira, and went to dwell with Zenas, his father. And Zenas saith "Unto thee will I give the land of our fathers, even the house of Aaron, for the lot of thine inheritance" and he abode there many days. And George had exceeding much riches and honor, and he made himself treasures of silver and gold. Also storehouses for the increase of corn and stalls for all manner of beasts, and cotes for flocks, for God had given him substance very much.

And George prospered in all his works, and now sleeps with his fathers; and they buried him in the chiefest of the sepulchres of the sons of Aaron. And all the inhabitants of the hill town did him honor at his death, and Clark, his son, reigned in his stead.

And behold, Ira dwelt many years upon the mountain heights, well content with his lot. And one door of his house opened southward, and he was wont to remove his waistcoat and tarry long, even in the heat of the sun. Before his door, even near the steps thereof, the sweet-heart which Dilla had planted and watered waxed strong. And the sunflower towered high, even 6 cubits, and their fowls, their geese and their turkeys did gather in the shade thereof.

After these things it came to pass that Ira was stricken with a malady too grievous to be borne, and he died and rested with his father. And Dilla went to dwell in the house of her daughter, near the banks of the river; and in fullness of time she died. And behold, now the house of Ira was left desolate.

Chapter 5

And it came to pass in those days that Peter saw that it was not good for man to dwell alone. Now Dorcas was of the tribe of the Pikes, and Peter saw that she was fair, and he said unto her: "Dorcas, if you love me less buss [?] and they went to dwell together; and they builded them an house near the brook by the side of a rock, and nigh unto the habitations of Paul and of Levi. And lo! a mighty storm arose and it beat vehemently upon the house, but it fell not for it was founded by the rock, and darkness was upon the whole land for it was night.

And lo! while Peter and Dorcas slept, a thunderbolt descended from the heavens and did rend the house, and even the bed whereon they slept! and behold, it did divide in twain the soap trough, and did scatter the contents broadcast over the house and the children. And the dog and the swine were killed, and grat fear came upon all the household. And Peter arose and spake unto Dorcas, his wife, "Come, let us arise and give thanks unto the Lord, for he has been merciful unto us; He has saved us from the mighty judgments of the Lord".

And the next day was the Sabbath, and many people gathered in the house of the Lord, and as they went, they tarried at the house of Peter and Dorcas, and with them did offer up thankofferings [sic] that they were saved from the terrors of the thunderbolt, and He had made their lives precious in his sight. And Peter gathered with all the people in the house of the Lord, and Myres, the Elder, arose and said "The Lord hath been good unto his people; yea, He hath showed a great mercy even unto the house of Peter".

So Peter arose and sang a hymn:

"God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform
He plants his footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm".

And all the people said amen. And the Lord blessed Peter and his seed was multiplied: Peter, Susie, Rolly and Fanny, Annie,, Josiah, Patience, Eliza, Paul, Silas and Mila. These were his children - 11 in all.

Chapter 6

And it came to pass in those days that Daniel the prophet was joined to one of the tribe of Barnes, and her name was Patty: and Daniel was famous in his time as an expounder of the Scriptures, mighty in speech, and all the people came to hear him declare the truth on his day. And behold, he was sorely distressed, inasmuch as his substance was oftimes destroyed by fire, and desolation came upon his whole household.

And Daniel humbled himself before the God of his fathers, and the Lord favored Daniel and greatly blessed his household. And these were the sons of Daniel: David, Thomas, Alonzo, Orrie, Tirtious and Hiram; but the names of his daughters were Lucinda, Emily and Caroline. And it came to pass that these all went by themselves in families, some even to the four quarters of the earth, but David and Lucinda did abide near the house of their father.

And after these days Patty the Prophetess died, and Daniel lamented sore. But in process of time, it came to pass that Mary entered into Daniel’s house, and lo! there was restored unto him sevenfold in Mary, who was greater by far than all his former household. For since the time of the fathers there was not found the like in all the tribes of the mountain.

Chapter 7

Now it came to pass that Abraham, the son of Farnsworth, dwelt in the house of Joseph; and after many days Joseph died and Abram [sic] reigned in his stead, with Dolly, who was of the house of Holden. Now Abram was a tiller of the land, and behold, he was barefooted on the top of his head, as was also his father before him. And it came to pass that Orin was pleased with Roxy, the daughter of Abram, and he took her to wife, and they went to dwell in the house left by Nathaniel; and after many days Orin died, and Roxy tarried and reigned there.

And Riley, her brother, did dwell in the house of their father Abram. Now Dolly’s two brothers, Elihu and John, dwelt also on the south side of the mountain near the house of Anan, whose surname was Bass, and behold Anan had an impediment in his speech, and when he was old and infirm he rested from his labors; and Adna and Rebecca reigned there many years after.

Chapter 8

And it came to pass that Abram, the son of Shippee, said unto himself, Behold, I myself am a man, and I will leave even the house of my father Israel. And he married a wife from the tribe of Farley, and her name was Lucy, and they builded them an habitation and dwelt on the north side of the mountain. Now there were daughters born unto them (but behold the son shone not his face in all their household).

Fanny, Jane and Nancy, Martha, Almira and Parthena were the names of the daughters of Abraham. And it came to pass that when men did multiply on the mountains, and daughters were born unto them, that the sons saw the daughters, that they were fair, and they took them wives of all which they chose. And one, a Levite, took the firstborn of Abram; and behold all the daughters were scattered abroad. And after the death of Lucy desolation came upon the whole house. And again, after many days, Abram was joined to another and went to dwell near the plains, in an Ashfield.

Chapter 9

And it came to pass that Peter, the brother of Paul and Silas, said unto Polly, let us pitch our tent and dwell near the house of our fathers, for so it seemeth good. And now behold near by their habitation was a dense swamp, and Peter was a man of great daring, and he fain would have walked upon the surface thereof, but his faith was weak, for there was much water there.

And behold a great calamity fell upon Peter, inasmuch as his nose was divided asunder and one of his eyes were blinded by the kick of old Gilpin, and Peter was sore discouraged, and all his household; and he said unto Polly, "Come, let us journey into a far country, where peradventure we shall find greener pastures for our flocks, and a richer inheritance for our children".

And they went on their journey and Nathaniel possessed the land. And behold Nathaniel was a man of great stature and of large understandings, and he was wont to remove the coverings thereof, and to tarry long among the eels and turtles that did much abound in the meadow ditches.

Now the length of this meadow, and the breadth thereof, was exceedingly great, and in it were many islands, both great and small, covered with trees and shrubs, and with herbs; and lo, Nathaniel and Alice were wont to go out and bring in of the abundance thereof in their season; for behold Nathaniel was a disciple of Hippocrates, and was possessed of the healing art in a great degree; and he had vessels of wood and of iron in which he did compound medicines for the cure of divers maladies.

And now it came to pass when the harvest was ended, and winter drew near, Nathaniel spent the long evenings thereof making baskets of willow, and hooping the sieves which Alice did weave from hair, and did bind with the leaves of the flag. And now Robert, their firstborn, was skillful to work in brass and in iron, and to grave all manner of graving, and to find out any device that was put to him.

And lo, it came to pass that he was pierced with a chisel, and so were his days numbered. And now Nathaniel’s 4th son was called Truair, after one, a high priest, who traveled the circuit of the hill country. Now Truair did in habits much resemble his father; he was a tiller of the ground, and he bethought himself that he would journey in a far country, where he might find more fertile fields; and he bought a parcel of land where he spread his tent.

And there his possessions increased much. And it came to pass in the sixth month - the month Sivan - that he was cultivating the land, when lo, there descended upon him a thunderbolt; and he was taken up dead, and they buried him in the field of burial, in the land of strangers.

And now it came to pass that there was born unto Nathaniel a daughter, and her name was called Lydia. Now Nathaniel and Alice did set their hearts upon her, because she was their only daughter, and well favored. So Lydia dwelt in her father’s household until his death. And she did many things that were praiseworthy, for behold she was a woman zealous of good works. And after many days it came to pass that Lydia was beloved by one Emerson, of the tribe of Cary, and they dwelt henceforth with the Adamonians.

Now Ammon, Joseph, and Jason were also of the household of Nathaniel, and behold they were diligent in sowing wild oats among the rooks and the hedges, and even over the ridgepole of the houses and barns. And after they were well brushed in, it came to pass that they did leave their father’s house, and did join themselves into the society of the Odentologues. And behold they were skillful in the making of gold and silver and of ivory, and did make appliances of cunning device and workmanship, which did even eat and speak for themselves; and all the Edentulous did greatly rejoice.

So they were very diligent in repairing the crumbling incisors, bicuspids and molars, and in all that, pertained to "restoring the contour of the human face divine". And behold one went to dwell with the Gothamites, by the border of the sea; but Joseph builded him an habitation in the Norwood of the Connecticut. and lo, it came to pass, that the house of Ammon was sawn asunder, and again, after many days, it was joified and perfected; and the household of Ammon did rejoice greatly in that they did dwell in broader fields, even in the "valley view" of the winding Hoosac River.

Chapter 10

And it came to pass that Levi was a shepherd born (not made) and behold to him fell the inheritance of Paul his father, and he took up his abode there, and did build him an house of hewn logs and timber. Now the house of Levi was more comely than that of Paul, inasmuch as it was broader and higher and was divided into diverse compartments for the convenience of his family. And behold Susan was exceeding glad and said, Come now, let us build storehouses for our flocks, houses for bees, and also for our cheese.

And now Levi was a man of great cunning and he was skillful int he hiving of bees, and their swarms did greatly increase and behold their household did flow with milk and honey. Now Levi possessed lands in great abundance, and his pastures did much abound in rocks and stones, and no beast could feed thereon, save that their noses were well sharpened. So their pastures did run over with sheep and with lambs, both great and small.

And in these days it came to pass that Levi and Susan did take in abundance of the first fruits of flocks, and of cheese and of honey, and of all the increase of the fields, and the tithe of all these things brought them in abundantly, and their coffers were filled with gold and silver. And behold Levi begat great honor unto himself, inasmuch as he tarried long to possess the lands of his fathers.

Chapter 11

And it came to pass that sundry members of Amasa’s household did journey westward; and one of the daughters tarried just over the mountain, and was joined to one David whose surname was Ives. And Kate, the younger, did worship the son of Simeon the Myres, and again she was made one of the tribe of Benjamin. And behold after many days she did return to the house of her father.

Now Nathan did much resemble his father in that he was tall and of a comely countenance, and he went to dwell in the Hub, where he did dispense to the tribes thereof of the milk of human kindness.

And now Chauncey the brother of Nathan was exceeding tall, even 5 cubits and over. And it came to pass in the reign of King Winter, when he did give his snow like wood, and did scatter his ice like morsels, and his hoar frost like ashes, that one Barton did gather together all the children of the hill tribes saying: harken ye unto me, and I will dispense unto you knowledge and wisdom, and learning in great abundance.

And now much learning did make Chauncey mad, and so he did sit down heavy upon his seat, and low the teacher was sore vexed, and commanded Chauncey that he rise and sit down again. And lo, Chauncey did all that was commanded him in that he did sit down threefold heavier than before, whereupon the teacher did rend his clothes and he drew forth a raw hide and with it Chauncey was beaten with many stripes until the ire of his wrath was kindled.

And behold he leaped over the counter and seized the teacher by the throat, and held him down until he begged for his life. And behold they armed themselves with shovels and with tongs, that they might be defended against the assaults of each other, and there arose a great tumult, and all the children quaked with fear and trembling. And it came to pass that when the noise of these things went abroad, Joel, Zenas and Levi consulted together, and Mary, the daughter of Smith reigned in his stead.

And now Andros the first born of Amasa was a captain and a man of great might, in that he did brave the storms and tempests of the mountain; he was also a man of great courage and daring in that he did dwell many years nearer the lions than any of the other tribes of the mountain; even after all his father’s household had forsaken him and gone. Now Andros did search diligently among all the daughters of the hill country, but found not one who would do him honor. So he chose to dwell alone in single blessedness, and verily he shall not lose his reward.

Chapter 12

Now it came to pass in those days that Alice said unto Emily, Behold, how sin doth abound, and the love of many doth wax cold. Come, let us assemble ourselves together, there am I in their midst. So they took their hymn books and journeyed to the old school house and lighted their candle and placed it under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that it might give light unto all the house. Then after Alice had arisen from her knees they did sing an hymn. And Emily arose and said "Behold, this is the house of the Lord, let us assemble often together"; so Alice lifted up her voice and said "Amen" and they departed to their own households.

And it came to pass that the noise of these things did spread abroad throughout all the region round about. And behold all the tribes of the hill country were greatly moved and they came together by scores and by hundreds. Now Haynes, one of the elders of the people arose, and behold he was like unto Saul the son of Kish, in that he was taller by head and shoulders than the rest of the people, and he cried with a loud voice "Brethren and sisters, hearken unto me". and a great silence fell upon all the multitudes and he said "behold we are all gathered together from near and from far, let us give thanks unto the Lord, sing psalms unto his name".

Now Daniel, whose surname was Dwight, broke forth into singing:

"My chains fell off: glory! I cried
Was it for sinners Jesus died etc. etc. [sic]"

And all the people said amen and amen. And Zenas, who was greatly beloved by all the people, arose and said "Blessed be the Lord God of Israel forever and ever". And behold he did free his mind of a great burden which lay heavily upon it in that he did tell to the brethren and sisters that "he dreamed a dream; and it amounted even unto a vision". And all the people gave ear unto him, and after he had sat down behold Alice broke forth into singing:

"Oh that my load of sin were gone".

And scarcely had the voice of singing died away, when Sarah the Prophetess, the daughter of Hanshaw arose, and as she spoke a great silence fell on all the multitude for she spake of one Joel who had been suddenly taken to his death.

Now all the brethren and sisters knew and loved Joel, and they did mourn sincerely for him. And when these words sounded in their ears, their hearts were filled with sorrow; and they expressed themselves in singing mournfully. And it came to pass that Rebecca arose. Now Rebecca was a woman greatly beloved, and all the people gave ear to her as she said "It rejoiceth my heart greatly to meet with the brethren and sisters, who have come from near and from far". And when she had sat down all the people said amen.

Presently Peter arose, and his head was white and glistening, and a halo glowed around it, and his face did shine even as the light; and he blessed God with all his heart and soul; and behold, all his kinsfolk and neighbors became as lambs for quietness. But Per was greatly beloved, and when he had made an end of his sayings, he sang with a loud voice:

"On Jordan’s stormy banks I stand
And cast a wishful eye
To Canaan’s fair and happy land
Where my possessions lie".

And after this Samuel whose surname was Brown, arose and opened his mouth and said unto them "Men and brethren, it is with me as with Naaman the Syrian, when Elisha bade him go wash in Jordan; yea, more, it was as if the Jordan had been frozen over, and he had been bidden to go wash 7 times in the river. But he essayed the task, and said "Behold I have been ashamed of my brethren in the days that are past, but now do I greatly rejoice to see them zealous of good works". And Nathan, the son of Burns arose, and all the people knew that he had somewhat to say.

And Nathan said "He felt somewhat cold and lukewarm" and sat down, and all the people broke frorh into singing:

"Come Holy spirit heavenly dove
With all thy quickening powers
Kindle a flame of sacred love
In these cold hearts of ours"

And now it came to pass that Daniel the prophet arose. Now behold he was a prophet born (not made) and when the spirit seizeth him, the voice of Daniel was like the balm of Gilead, even like precious ointment upon their heads, that ran down upon the beard; even Aaron’s beard that went down to the skirts of his garments.

Now after this it came to pass that the hour was late and Myres the elder arose, and behold he was halt, and like Samson of old his locks were long and flowing. And he said "My brethren and sisters, if any man does ought to his neighbor, he must go to him and make restitution, or he can never enter into the pearly gates of the New Jerusalem". and all the people said amen and amen.

Now what shall I say more, for the time would fail me, to speak of Sister Farley and others who through faith wrought righteousness and obtained the promise. So after they had sung an hymn, they all departed and slept. And as for the rest of the doings of the tribes, are they not all written in the chronicles of our memory?
 

Subjects: Accident Victims, Accidents, Amusements, Animals / Reptiles, Ashfield (MA), Barber / Hair, Beverages, Birds, Births, Boston (MA), Business Enterprises, Cemeteries, Children, Coleraine [now Colrain] (MA), Connecticut, Cosmetics, Dance, Diseases, Dreams / Sleep, Education, Emigration and Immigration, Eye, Family, Farmers & Farming / Flowers, Fires

Posted by stew - Mon, Feb 9, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 6, 1875
Shelburne Falls



Shelburne Falls - Mr. A.W. Ward (not Artemas the wax works show man, but a distant relative of his) has returned from 6 weeks sojourn at Saratoga. He has gained in weight and strength. We are glad to see him looking so well and hearty.

[The author of the article is joking. Artemus Ward was the pseudonym of Charles Farrar Browne, a humorist and friend of Mark Twain].
 

Subjects: Jokes, Literature / Web Pages, Names

Posted by stew - Sun, Feb 8, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 6, 1875
Buckland

(Buckland) We were in the shop of Arnold Smith a few days ago, and saw a notice printed in big letters, saying that he should not give or ask credit of any live man after Sept. 1, 1875. We were glad to see it, and hope others will imitate his example. Mr. Smith is a general jobber, builds and repairs wagons, carts, sleighs, sleds, wheelbarrows, and anything wanted; he has a blacksmith shop, cider mill and still; he must necessarily have to pay out a good deal of money, and therefore must have some paid to him. We hope he will have good success in his new start, in everything but the still.
 

Subjects: Beverages, Buckland (MA), Business Enterprises, Businesspeople, Economics, Jokes, Temperance, Transportation, Words, Work

Posted by stew - Sun, Feb 8, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 6, 1875
The Old Brick School house rejoices

The Old Brick School house rejoices - Ha ha! I am pleased. Relief has come: my eyes are partially in use. I am certainly improving, inwardly and outwardly. Past neglect has given way to present attention, and I am in high glee. In a few days I expect lots of company; and now that "Richard is himself again" all will go well.

The "five score of dollars" has been well laid out to help me in my declining years. Be assured, ye Fathers of the Town, and the School Committee, your labors in my behalf are fully appreciated, and I will serve you to the best of my ability. So send in the short folks. I will make room for them; they shall be well cared for.

Now I ask in closing, that I may have the "full use" of my eyes. Don't excuse the matter by saying that the boys will pelt me if I look at them. No such thing. The boys have too much respect for me at my time of life, to treat me ill. "Old Brick"

*Some windows are boarded up yet, and present a prison-like appearance.
 

Subjects: Children, Economics, Education, Eye, Glass / Windows, Government, Greenfield (MA), Jokes, Prisons, Trees, Architecture / Construction

Posted by stew - Sun, Feb 8, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 6, 1875
The town of Rowe

(Rowe) It is well known among botanists that many notable plants grow on sterile soil, so from some of our small and sequestered country towns have come many of our now prominent and useful men. I well remember when a boy, of living in the town of Rowe 40 years ago, just how it appeared.

I was a poor farmer’s boy, at work on a farm for wages, at 12 dollars per month. I had been well schooled in the village schools of the time, but they said "there was to be a select school in the center of the town, to be taught by Mr. John Wells, a son of Hon. Noah Wells of Rowe, who had just graduated at Williamstown, taking the highest honors in his class".

John succeeded in getting a large class, made up of the young ladies and gentlemen of his native town. I was a pupil among the others, and here I wish to say that a more successful school was never taught by any man. John Wells was then a young man, tall, straight as an arrow, with a beautiful face, and an expression like a modest girl. At the close of the school, we had an exhibition in the old Unitarian Church. It was filled to overflowing, and all the scholars took a part. The whole thing was a great success for Mr. Wells and a credit to his pupils.

The succeeding winter I taught the "winter school" in the center of the town, having among my scholars a small boy, the son of Rev. William Stearns, named George Stearns. George was a bright, blue-eyed boy of about 10 years old, good, but very mischievous. I gave him his first lesson in Latin grammar. I well remember how he used to recite in such a way as to make fun for the other scholars.

Well, Mr. John Wells is now Hon. John Wells of the Supreme court; and little Georgie Stearns is the celebrated Springfield lawyer, one of the most eminent of his profession in the State. The following year I taught a school in the north west part of the town, in a little "hut of a school house", and among my scholars was a little boy by the name of Noah Cressy.

[See Google Books "American Law Review: 1875 - 1876" for a long biographical entry on John Wells].

[See Google Books "Second annual report on the diseases of the domestic animals in Connecticut" by Noah Cressy].

There were 3 brothers of the Cressy family living in the district, and their children constituted the greater part of the school. the following year I went away to study medicine, and lost sight of little Noah, and the next I heard of him he was "Professor Noah Cressy of the Massachusetts Agricultural college, and veterinary surgeon to the State of Connecticut".

A chum went with me from Rowe to study medicine in the same office with me, the office of Moses Barrett M.D., located in the town of Charlemont. Dr. Barrett was a native of Rowe and had studied medicine and graduated with high honors. My chum was C.K. Fiske of Rowe, who graduated with me at the Berkshire Medical college in 1842. Dr. Fiske became an eminent dentist and settled in St. Johns, New Brunswick.

The late Major Reed, sheriff of this county, was for a long time a merchant in Rowe, if not born there. He had a son by the name of Samuel Reed, a scholar in my school, who afterward studied medicine, graduated, started for California, and died on the passage.

I frequently meet Prof. Cressy. He is a wide awake, congenial, friendly man, but eminently learned in his profession. Last week we exchanged some books, I giving him Harris on Insects, and he giving me "The Elements of General and Pathological Anatomy" by David Craige, M.D., published in Edinburg in 1828.

On the fly leaf is this, written in pencil: "To Dr. Craige, belongs the merit of having written the first distinct and comprehensive work on general anatomy" signed George Gulliver, M.D. There is probably not more than one or two other works of the kind and edition in this country. David Rice, M.D.
 

Subjects: Animals / Reptiles, Charlemont (MA), Children, Connecticut, Courts, Diseases, Economics, Education, Emigration and Immigration, Eye, Family, Farmers & Farming / Flowers, Government, Hampshire / Hampden Counties, History, Insects, Jokes, Law and Lawyers, Literature / Web Pages, Massachusetts, Medical Personnel, Medicine / Hospitals, Obituaries, Police, Poor

Posted by stew - Sun, Feb 8, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 6, 1875
Hawley



(Hawley) Money is a scarce article here. Some of us have almost forgotten how it looks; but we hope to get along somehow, so long as the blackberries last.
 

Subjects: Economics, Food, Jokes, Hawley (MA)

Posted by stew - Sat, Feb 7, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 6, 1875
News about home: Greenfield items

(Greenfield) Maintaining our county courts is a little expensive. A single juror at the present term has drawn for his pay, including mileage, $93.78. When the millennium comes, what a reduction there will be in taxes, but then, what will become of our lawyers?
 

Subjects: Courts, Economics, Government, Greenfield (MA), Jokes, Law and Lawyers, Religion

Posted by stew - Fri, Feb 6, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, September 6, 1875
Hard times

People often complain of hard times from a mere natural tendency to growl, but a Rome, Ga. darkey, the other day, said: "Nebber seed sich times since I been born. Work all day and steal all night, and blest if I can hardly make a livin".
 

Subjects: African-Americans / Blacks, Economics, Jokes, Racism, Robbers and Outlaws, Work

Posted by stew - Fri, Feb 6, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 30, 1875
A Milwaukee man

A Milwaukee man made 3 unsuccessful attempts to blow his brains out, and then his wife told him "Don't try it again, John, you haven't got any". He goes about now saying that he owes his life to that woman.
 

Subjects: Jokes, Suicide, War / Weaponry, Women

Posted by stew - Fri, Feb 6, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 30, 1875
The rage for short dresses

A song which Mme. La Mode is at present much engaged in singing is:

"If your foot is pretty, show it".

[OK I can’t resist sharing one verse of this wonderful 1857 ditty "sung by W.N. Smith, the great bone-player of Bailey’s Circus"

If your foot is pretty, show it,
No matter where, or when;
Let all fair maidens know it:
The foot takes all the men:
The face, so fair and lovely,
May charm the gazer’s eye,
But if the foot is homely,
He’ll quickly pass you by,
He’ll quickly,--He’ll quickly,
He’ll quickly pass you by.

See the rest of the lyrics at the Library of Congress’s American Memory site].

Dresses are growing shorter and shorter in front; to that extent it is almost as impossible not to know what sort of hose a lady wears. I cannot speak enthusiastically of this fashion. A woman’s charms are hightened [i.e. heightened] by their partial concealment, not their full exposure, and the poet who sang of a lady whose name I forget:

"Her feet beneath her petticoat
Like little mice stole in and out"

or words there or thereabouts, would perhaps have considered the lady’s feet regular full grown rats if he’d had a square look at them. [;-) ] And modesty - how about that? I remember at the time the short skirts, disclosing the very tops of boots, were worn in Paris. Eugenie, the lovely Empress, and Napoleon III went to pay a state visit to the sovereigns of Austria.





When Napoleon and Eugenie arrived at Vienna, they found Franz Joseph and the beautiful Empress Elizabeth awaiting them at the railway depot. Eugenia wore a delicious little short costume, in which she looked "ravissante", of course, but the Empress Elizabeth, unaffected by the latest French mode, wore the usual long dress of women. Eugenie sprang into the imperial carriage, making a display so lavish and beautiful of sky-hued hose of symmetrical proportions that such another would have secured an engagement to any ballet dancer on the spot, and then the lovely Elizabeth gathered up her skirts and placed her feet upon the carriage step.



Instantly Franz Joseph drew her drapery from her hand, and passing it closely about her, exclaimed "Take care, your Majesty, you might show your feet". Rather a smart speech, but I have often wondered whether such underhanded or underfooted slaps at guests were considered the correct thing in the Viennese code of gentility.



There’s no telling what Franz Joseph would say if he could see some of the women who prance up and down Long Branch piazzas. Might show their feet indeed! They do. And more. The first glance at these women with skirts so curiously short in front gives one an erroneous impression. Who says there’s danger of the American population fading out before the foreign cohorts’ prolific hosts, when __? Oh, no, quite the wrong tack - that’s the way they wear the dresses now. pardon, Madame! (Olive Logan’s Long Branch Letter).


 

Subjects: Animals / Reptiles, Circus, Dance, Etiquette, Eye, Fashion, French, Government, History, Jokes, Literature / Web Pages, Music, Poetry, Royalty, Seduction, Trains, Transportation, Women, Words, Hungarians, Europe, Clothing

Posted by stew - Tue, Feb 3, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 30, 1875
Athol

"Well, mum, I am near-sighted, and I thought the window was open", explained an Athol gentleman who had deposited several gills of tobacco juice against the car window, to a finely dressed woman, who had received most of the liquid on her lap.
 

Subjects: Accidents, Athol (MA), Eye, Fashion, Glass / Windows, Handicapped, Jokes, Smoking and Tobacco, Trains

Posted by stew - Sun, Jan 18, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 30, 1875
News about town: Greenfield items



A desperate plan was laid by two of Greenfield’s young roughs, to burglarize Charles Keith’s grocery store last Wed. eve. About 11 o’clock in the eve. Miles Mowry, a clerk employed in the store, accompanied by E.S. Seaver, cutter for Seward & Willard, had occasion to go into the store. In the dark Mowry stumbled over someone secreted behind the counter. He at first thought it one of the other clerks trying to play a joke on him, but dragging the fellow out, he proved to be Jerry McAuliffe, the boy who, two years ago, broke into the store then kept by Mrs. S.F. Warner.

He served an 18 month’s sentence in the House of Correction at Pittsfield, and returned to Greenfield July 17th. Mowry and Seaver took McAuliff into the street and delivered him over to night policemen Jones and Carbee. McAuliff, when arrested, had a long dirk knife in his hand, the sheath of which was found in his pocket. It was not suspected at the time that there was another burglar in the store, and so it was locked and left for the night.

It leaked out the next day, when McAuliff was brought before Justice Brainard, that he was not alone. Another fellow, he said, cut a light from the back window with a diamond, through which they both got into the store, and it was their intention to open the safe, his comrade having the necessary tools. The fellow, he said, was not 4 ft. from him when he was taken from behind the counter, and he had a revolver cocked ready to shoot anyone who took hold of him.

McAuliff would not tell the boy’s name, but from what the Justice pumped out of him, it was suspected that Willard Gillett, employed about the Mansion House, was the second burglar, and he was accordingly arrested. Gillett denied the whole thing at once, but owned up little by little, and finally pleaded guilty to the charge of breaking and entering the store, with the intention of opening the safe to obtain money.

His trunk at the Mansion House was searched and in it was found a seven shooter loaded with six charges, capped and ready for execution, a long sheath knife, a policeman’s "billy", a hatchet, a diamond for cutting glass, a chisel, etc., beside some boxes of cigars and a few articles that are supposed to have been stolen. The magistrate bound each of the boys over to the Nov. court in the sum of $500.

Gillett was at one time employed by Dr. Severance, who now recollects numerous things that turned up missing while he was around the house. He afterward worked in Field & Hall’s printing office, but found he hadn’t a taste for that kind of work and so gave it up. A "form" of type was found in his trunk, from which he had probably printed some obscene literature for the benefit of his boy companions. He was certainly equipped for burglary on an extensive scale.

The wonder is, that with one of these boys armed with a dirk knife, and the other a pistol, they did not assault Mowry and Seaver when they entered the store. Had Mowry been alone, he might have had ugly treatment at their hands. McAuliff is 17 and Gillett 18.
 

Subjects: Business Enterprises, Courts, Crime, Criminals, Economics, Food, Glass / Windows, Greenfield (MA), Hotels, Jokes, Juvenile Delinquents, Literature / Web Pages, Massachusetts, Medical Personnel, Names, Police, Prisons, Roads, Robbers and Outlaws, Sex Crimes, Smoking and Tobacco, Stores, Retail, War / Weaponry, Words, Work

Posted by stew - Sun, Jan 18, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 30, 1875
A facetious tramp

A facetious tramp stopped at Widow H's. in Brookfield a few days since, and asked for food. She replied she had none. Mr. Tramp then went across the road to a neighbor's, and asked if they were aware the woman living on the other side was starving. He then requested the loan of a fishing rod lying close by, which was granted to him. With it he went to a pond a short distance off, fished or several hours, catching a good string, returned to the Widow H. and made her a present of them.
 

Subjects: Fishes and Fishing, Food, Jokes, Massachusetts, Rivers / Lakes / Oceans, Sports, Tramps, Widows and Widowers, Women

Posted by stew - Sat, Jan 17, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 23, 1875
Shelburne Falls

We should think by Joel Woodward's advertisement that he had got somebody's colt impounded.
 

Subjects: Advertising, Animals / Reptiles, Horses, Jokes, Prisons, Shelburne and Shelburne Falls (MA)

Posted by stew - Sat, Jan 17, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 23, 1875
Orange

A man, somewhat confused in his ideas by imbibing too large a quantity of that forbidden juice, stole a pair of boots from the shop of Job Haskins a few nights since, and got soundly thrashed for the trouble.
 

Subjects: Beverages, Crime, Criminals, Drunkenness, Jokes, Liquors, Orange (MA), Robbers and Outlaws, Stores, Retail, Clothing

Posted by stew - Fri, Jan 16, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 23, 1875
Bad dreams

A young man in Lancaster, Ohio sent a dollar to a firm in New York who advertised a recipe to prevent bad dreams. He received a small slip of paper on which was printed "Don't go to sleep".
 

Subjects: Advertising, Business Enterprises, Dreams / Sleep, Economics, Jokes, Mail, Sales

Posted by stew - Sun, Jan 11, 2009

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 23, 1875
A widower's tribute



The Boston Globe tells the following as a "true story". A minister, newly settled in one of the "waste places", was walking in the village cemetery one day, when he saw one of his parishioners standing by the "family lot". "Are these the graves of your children?" he asked. "Yes", said the man, looking about. "Here is Tom, there is Bill, this is Mary, that's the baby", and then, pointing contentedly to a corner gay with flowers. "There lays the old woman, all blowed out".
 

Subjects: Birth Control, Cemeteries, Children, Family, Farmers & Farming / Flowers, Jokes, Literature / Web Pages, Religion, Widows and Widowers, Women

Posted by stew - Tue, Dec 30, 2008

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 9, 1875
News about home: Greenfield items

Shop keepers and real estate owners at the west end are smiling with the hope of having the new depot located in their quarter.
 

Subjects: Business Enterprises, Businesspeople, Economics, Greenfield (MA), Jokes, Stores, Retail, Trains, Vendors and Purchasers

Posted by stew - Mon, Dec 29, 2008

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 9, 1875
News about home: Greenfield items

The "water cure" treatment didn't work on a tramp in front of the American House last week. The boys turned on a full head from a hose, but the fellow was a little too drunk to appreciate the joke, and leaned against the curbstone and took it without winking.
 

Subjects: Beverages, Drunkenness, Greenfield (MA), Hotels, Jokes, Medicine / Hospitals, Rivers / Lakes / Oceans, Roads, Tramps

Posted by stew - Sat, Dec 20, 2008

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 2, 1875
A piano as it appeared to an Oriental

One of the Siamese ambassadors, on returning home from Europe, gave the following description of a piano forte [See Fortepiano in Wikipedia], or as he called it "a great trunk set upon legs". He said "A woman sits in front of this and tickling a sort of tail it has with her toes produces a variety of sounds by beating rapidly with her fingers on a number of little bits of ivory in front of it".


 

Subjects: Chinese, Government, History, Jokes, Literature / Web Pages, Music, Racism, Europe

Posted by stew - Sat, Dec 20, 2008

Gazette & Courier - Monday, August 2, 1875
Shelburne Falls

A pack peddler called, not long since, on a lady in our village, and tried to sell her a bottle of cement for 10 cents. She told him plainly that she didn't want it. He then offered it for 5 cents. She told him no. He then offered it for a glass of milk. She told him no, but that she would get him some milk and something else (meaning a piece of bread), and started for another room; but the peddler, not knowing what that "something else" referred to, started out of the house on a run, and when she came back he was 30 rods down the street, going as fast as his legs would carry him.
 

Subjects: Beverages, Economics, Food, Glass / Windows, Households, Jokes, Roads, Sales, Shelburne and Shelburne Falls (MA), Vendors and Purchasers, War / Weaponry, Women, Work


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